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fighting
2017-03-01 03:48:14
I've recently been getting anxiety about certain things. My mind would be messing with me, making me think things like "you may be friends with all the kids in your school but what if they're fake?" or things like "they all hate you". My mind would also randomly dig up things in the past just to point out evidence that all my so called friends are "fake" and it would kill me inside. I didn't want to talk about it to my friends or anyone because my mind would also make me think that it would make me a "toxic" and "needy" person. My mind would dig up all my past mistakes and make me think I am a villan to everyone, and that I was also a human parasite. I just kept fighting it and I didnt tell anyone about it. The weirdest thing is that everything has been going well for me and I dont have any quarrel with anyone at my school. But I cant help but have this dream..... I was at a fair full of people and even all the kids at my school, and strangers and other people. I would run into a friend and greet them, but all of them reacted negatively. ALL of the friends would. For example: The first friend, we were good friends but not super close you know. I went up to her to greet her but she seemed confused, creeped out, like she didn't even remember me. Like all the good memories of me and her were just.. gone. The second friend, was my best friend I've known for 5 years. In real life she had curly, long hair. But in this dream her hair was straight and medium length. So next, I went up to the second friend, complimented her hair, then have her a hug. She shoved me away and said I was creepy and that everyone at the school thought the same way. The weirdest thing is. I was known to be the "popular but kind" Kid that was friends and cool with everyone. This dream felt so real. After I met her in the dream, I would try to meet one school friend after another. They would all just act like they don't remember me and that I was a stranger. I greeted all the friends I knew. and they all traded me in an unfriendly way. Then this one kid that I didnt know of, appeared in my dream and just yelled out things like "Why do you even think that people like you? whats wrong with you?? Why are you so creepy everyone hates you!" Things like that. and I replied with things like "I dont understand..... I thought I was friends with them" We had a argument then mystery girl attacked me. I hit her in the face and pushed her off. Then I ran to a corner to pick up a high heel boot. She ran and tried to tackle me, then the lights went out and it was pitch black. I used the heel of the boot to hit her in the head repeatedly and get her off of me, then the lights were back on. The mystery girl was gone. There was nothing but a boot and blood on my hands. A teacher runs up to me and yells at me "Why did you do this?!?!?" And I just replied with "There's no such thing as real friends" and then I woke up. Crying more than I needed to. And now I have to know what it all means. like why was i at the fair?!?! why did all my friends turn against me? Why did I kill someone for self defense?
2017-02-25 19:46:46


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