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I think I may have cheated on

I think I may have cheated on my husband, but I am not sure. I am confused but find out I am pregnant. I ride a bus in circles trying to decide what to do with the pregnancy. I'm scared. My husband is the father, but I do not want him to be. I contemplate abortion, but that scares me more. The pregnancy progresses fast and soon abortion is not an option anyway. I want to leave, but the pregnancy means I must stay. I am afraid what this pregnancy means and I come to the conclusion that I am so afraid about this pregnancy because I do not love my husband. My husband is not my soulmate and I do not want to have his children.