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I was hanging out with Johnathan at the football field again like I did last night, and he and I were getting closer than we’ve been and started talking and Landon and I had gone together because he and I were apparently really close and he left to do something. He finally showed up again and we were just hanging out with him and later he drags me away and pushes me under the bleachers and left me there and im yelling “Landon, you cant leave me here!” And he yelled back “you’ll be fine!” So I yell back to him “you know I can just leave, right?!” And he yells back to me “you’re not allowed to leave yet!” And he walks away. He comes back a few minutes later dragging Johnathan who’s asking where I went and Landon pushes him under the bleachers with me and leaves us. And Johnathan yells at him “Landon, you cant just leave us here!” And Landon yells back “Yeah I can!” And I yell at him “Landon, you cant leave me here!” And he yells back “Yeah I can! You came here with me so yeah I can!” And I just stop and stare at him and turn to Johnathan and look at him to see his reaction. And Landon stops and turns around and yells “Yall cant leave yet so yall stay under there until yall figure out how to settle the tension between the both of yall!” And he leaves us there and Johnathan just stares after him and I look up at Johnathan and he turns to me and stared at me for a minute before he asked “What was that about?” And I shook my head and didnt say anything and walked over to one of the poles holding the bleachers up and leaned against it. He turned to watch where I was going and followed me and stood in front of me. I asked him “You got your vape?” And he nodded and pulled it out. “Can I…” I started before he interrupted me. “You shouldnt but I’ll let you.” He said and he handed me the vape. We just started talking while we vaped and after a few minutes I got tired of vaping and looked at him and asked “Johnathan do you like anyone?” And he just stared at me and stated laughing slightly but said “Uh yeah. I like someone.” So I asked him “Who?” And he said “Cant say.” And I just looked at him and said “Why not?” And he said “Because I cant tell you.” And I asked “Why cant you tell me? It’s not like I can say anything or tell anyone. Why would I? Do you not trust me?” And he looked at me and said “Katie, it’s not that I dont trust you or think you’ll tell anyone, it’s that I’m honestly scared of what you’ll think and say.” I just look up at him and look into his eyes and reach out my hand and touch his shoulder and say “Johnathan, whatever it is, whoever it is, I wont say anything bad about them.” And he looks down at me and walks closer to me and I back up a little and he says “Fine. You wanna know who it is?” And I nod and he says “It’s you, Katie. I like you.” And I stare at him in shock and after a minute I say “Johnathan, why? Why do you like me? Im not pretty, confident, popular, or anything. Im below average height for a fourteen year old. Im underweight for an average fourteen year old. And nobody really likes me….” I start before he interrupts me and says “I do, Katie! I like you! I don’t care that you’re not popular or confident or that you’re below average height or underweight for an average fourteen year old! You’re beautiful Katie! And I like you! Ok?! I like you!” And I just stared at him because with each word he stepped closer to me and I stepped back. I looked at him and said “Johnathan, im not beautiful. Im not. Nobody thinks i am anyway.” He slid his arms around my waist and held me close to him and looked at me and said “You are beautiful, Katie. You are absolutely beautiful. I think you’re beautiful. Whoever doesn’t think you are is just jealous.” And he looked at me and stared into my eyes and leaned down to whisper in my ear and whispered “I really like you Katie.” And I just shook my head and said “Johnathan, no you dont. You think you do but you dont. Nobody likes me. Nobody should like me anyway. Especially you. I just end up hurting the people I love and care about. You dont….” I started but he interrupted me by pushing me against the pole we were leaning against earlier and towering over me and said “I do. I. Like. You. Katie. I like you.” And as he said this his eyes kept flickering from my eyes to my lips and I nodded when I got what he was silently asking. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine softly and then I pressed my lips against his more firmly and he slid his arms around my waist and gripped my hips and I slid my arms around neck and leaned up and he pushed me against the pole more to keep me from falling. When we pulled away for air, we were both panting and he looked down at me and into my eyes and I looked up at him and into his eyes and he said “Katie, I do like you. So please stop saying I dont and that nobody likes you because I like you and you are beautiful. And I want to ask, will you be my girlfriend ?” And I just stare him and nod because im at a loss for words after the kiss. We then hear someone clear their throat and look over and see Landon standing there with an amused but unhappy look. He looks at us and says “That’s not exactly what I had in mind when I said figure out what to do about the tension between yall but it works.” And I blush and hide my face in Johnathan’s chest and he laughs and so does Landon. Johnathan looked down at me and smiled and Landon looked us and looked at Johnathan and said “Yall are cute together but if you hurt her it wont end well!” And Johnathan looked up at him and nodded. Landon walked up to us and hugged me and said he’d be back later and that Johnathan and I could leave from under the bleachers now.

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I was searching for a room to sit down for a while. I entered two rooms. The first one was a room full of mirrors. In that room, the dream looked like real life only darker. I walked out. The second room I entered was cozy but it was not realitic, it looked like a children illustratiin or a elegant cartoon. There was an arm chair in front of a chimney with a beautiful fire. I walked toward the chair to sit there but a orange fox nicely dressed was sitting there. He had no eyes where the eyes should have been.I apologized and asked if I could sit in the room. He said, you can sit if you find a chair. I looked around and there was a chair toward a side wall. Then the fox said: but if you stay and look at the fire, you will loose your sight.

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We have been given the task of completing our projects in school, I was done with my project and gave for checking to sir but sir said you all have to make an activity book also I was have my activity book with cover, but sir told me not to write anything on it I will give you, As I was about to speak shreyash mom come inside saying if he is done with his project then can I take him, but then sir told about activity also then I showed my my book to shreyash mom, sir said, like this also the school bell ranged, all students were going out of the class then I too packing my bag and almost out, but then I saw my love, shreyash , sharayu and sanhita was taking together , putting hands on each other,photos and sir too with them sir came to and they were still continuing , I went for photo as well saying lets take photo together but sharayu said, school is over you should go, I felt bad , they cannot take a photo with me, I ran down , tears in my see and I went back ground , then my love saw me setting alone he came to me , I turned my head and opened one of my book as I was soon to cry, he look at me I could not resist I said I am going he hold my hands and I stared crying, he said what to cry in that, I said I am fine you can go , he said I know why you crying, then I said, if you know then why you are standing he sat beside me and said you want to take photo right, I said it usual I usually take photos whats in it? then he said , no with me. I said, you don't care about never listening to me Why I will take photos, I was crying badly, he hugged me and took photos with me. And we were back to the ground I saw my van uncle left me and then I was sad again I said, to my love to give his phone to me to call , but he did't , he you can call from reception and I called my father , after few minutes he was back and as soo as my love was going father saw him and stared talking to him, I dont know why I think about scooty or cycle.... and then his friend mandar came they both were going together , but I said to wait and my father also see here's ice cream its nice they waited and we eated but they both did liked that I didt had it because I was unwell, but as soon as they eated they slipted, but my father liked it , also I was sad there I came home , then I saw that my van uncle was already there for some resnos also my pt teacher, van uncle said your pt teacher wants to talk to you, i said yes what it is? you have your match today but you have missed , i was sad again oh no, but you have your other events as well 200m and relay come with me to schoolnow for practice annd you can come to school anytime for practice. There was the birthday party of one student of one of our junior he invited us but I was sad again discussing about I dont have feild where I can practice then my friend sharayu said There is one building over there I has soil ground you can ask over there for practice, and then practice , I said fine, whenever I use to go was practice society members used to say that about me, but the head incharge said its fine . she is just for practice.

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Thought i'd take my own advice for once. March18 2014. Laying here thinking. Feels like i got deported. Friends and family miss me dearly. Mom thinks im a drug addict. Telling other fam that im mixing drugs and all this non sense. I honestly don't know how my mental os remaining strong after all this shit that i been through. not a complaint. I know im still here by the Grace of God. Who am i though. People probably look at me and say. oh , there goes that corny SKINNY ass nigga daniel, Why is sharde even with him. Why did alex even date him. he's Nobody. Right. Im Nobody. I can accept this. why. because 1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. and i believe in standing by your opinion. so If Im Such A Nobody. how About hou prove im A Nobody. Matter of fact. how About you walk in my Shoes. parents Divorced when i was like 3. Sent away by my mom 3 times. made my mother think she failed as a parent with me. Constant pressure to Succeed in something you don't even have a passion for. Judged by your family because of the decisions you make. Thats Not even Half Of It. but You still see me crack a fucking smile so you can think everything is Ok. When in actuality . its Not. Its far from Ok.

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I don’t know where I was but i know like half of the 9th grade or all of the 9th grade was there. So something was going on with all of the 9th graders and we were all NEEDY and there were some people there that were trying to help us. I refused to let them help me. Some of the girls and very few of the guys begged someone to help them and very few would help. So after a while of my suffering and begging some of the boys (Seth, JC, John Emerson, McCade, Ethan Hartfield, and River) to help me, Kaylyn and Elizabeth came up to me and started talking to me about what they did to satiate their neediness. They kept telling me about how they ate each other out. Elizabeth offered to help me and I’m like “No, Im good. Thanks though” and they walked away and I slid down the wall I was leaning against. So I sit there for awhile and I hear three voices coming toward me so I stood up and looked toward where the voices were coming from. I saw Braedon and two men walking toward me. I looked at Braedon and he looked at me and stopped walking. He just stared at me and I stared back at him and the two men that were with him asked where was the person he wanted and if I was the person he wanted and he nodded. So they left and he walked up to me and took his shirt off and I looked away and he walked up to me and pushed me against the wall and whispered to me “we don’t have to do this. Just tell me a-and I’ll stop. I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Jus-just tell me, ok?” and I nodded and he kissed my cheek and pulled my shirt off and he set his hands on my hips and my arms went around his neck and he kissed me. He then asked if I was ok and if I wanted him to continue and I didn’t say anything and he completely stopped and caused me to whine. He looked at me and slightly smiled and said “Kat, I’m not gonna do anything if don’t want me to. But I need you to tell me so I don’t make you uncomfortable or go too far. Please. I need you to tell me. Cause if I continue, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop” and I nodded and begged him “Please Braedon. Please. I need you. You wont make me uncomfortable, I promise. Just please continue” and he nodded and kissed me again and kept going. As he continued, he would ask me every once in a while if I was ok or wanted him to stop and I would say that I was fine and didn’t want him to stop. So he continued and eventually he went all the way and I was ecstatic. He didn’t mean to but he started leaving hickeys on my neck that I knew I would have to hide later. Wen we finished he was so sweet and kept asking if I was ok and kept helping me. So about 15 minutes after we had finished, he was being slightly clingy but it was cute. So later we were somewhere, I think it was the elementary school cafeteria, and Leasie and Kylie were there. So Braedon and I walked in and sat down and Kylie was talking 50 miles a minute. Leasie came up to us and asked us what was up with us and we just blushed and didn’t say anything. So Leasie asked “Did you two fuck?” and I just look at her and say “LEASIE MAE DAVIS?!” and she’s just like “What?” and I look over at Braedon and he was blushing very hard and was shaking his head and I’m just like “You can’t ask people that but n-no we didn’t” and she’s like “oh” and I’m like “go bother your brother and Mady. And take Kylie with you” so she does and I look at Braedon and we leave.

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I was at school and was talking to Jason and he and I were hanging out and were about as close as we used to be and I was leaning against him and laying on him and he asked me about who I like and I didn’t answer him. I sat up and laid my head on his shoulder. He kept asking and I got tired of it and just pretty much yelled at him “You! Jason! I like you!” and then I got embarrassed and hid my face in my hair and pulled my knees up to my chest and said “Im sorry Jason. I know you have a girlfriend and all and im sorry I like you. You and Kelli-Jo are an amazing couple. Im sorry…” and he interrupted me and said “Katie. Everyone knows that KJ and i arent together. She and I are just friends. She was helping me make the person I like jealous.” So I just looked at him and said “Who do you like?” And he said “You. Katie. You.” And I just say “Yeah right. No you dont, Jason. No one does.” And he said “Katie. No. Look at me.” So I looked up at him and he pulled me to him and hugged me. And he said “Katie. Look at me. Listen ok. People do like you. I like you.” And then he leaned his head down and kissed me. And when we pulled away for air he said “Katie, I do like you. And I mean it. I. Like. You.” And then he kissed me again and then we were interrupted by John Emerson and Carson Lyerly.

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I was in my old room from a long time ago and I was getting dressed. a black dog kept trying to get into my room, I kept pushing it away from the door. I was listening to a conversation between my dad and my little brother, but I was too distracted by the dog to hear what he said. then my little brother begins to cry I stored into the living room and started yelling at my father. all he did was look at me and I began to cry and plead him to stop. later on, my boyfriend had showed up to the house and every time he tried to touch me i would flinch and look towards my father. the black dog kept trying to get close to me but i was too scared to get close to it. i kept looking towards my father and all he could do was stare at me.

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