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Since it's Friday.. that means yk. And I had to worst dream about how there was this evil man who lived around my house and would taught our family to do this "ritual" with my whole family and the ritual was to have 3 options of ways to do. And 1 out of the 3 family members died. And the 3 options where like shoving yourself into a washing machine and turning it on. The next one was like staying under acid for 3 minutes. And the last one was like some weird thing. But it was pain for me. Seeing everyone around me die. First it was my aunt. Then my grandma. Then my SISTER. And so many other family members. And I was helpless having to see my whole family just die.

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I’m looking at photos of a wedding of the daughter of one of the church members. Then I see a photo of the wedding of another one of his daughters it’s a photo of a courthouse wedding. I’m now at that courthouse and see them make that photo. She’s in a dark dress and he holds her and beds her back for a kiss. The classic dramatic kissing photo for weddings. I wondered. Would our wedding be like the first one, full blown with a dress and a church or like the second one. A quick run away to the church.

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Met online friend irl and she made me watch a CGI cartoon movie titled "A Streetcar Named Desire" ...it started with siblings singing a song about asses. i remember feeling like i wished the experience I was having were real. the movie was awful, though. at some point in the dream, i was back home and really upset about school. she had came and comforted me after a bad interaction with a teacher who was also a cop. this teacher accused me of being disrespectful and it made me get aggressive. I dreamed I smashed the wall in EJ's room out of anger, using his computer to do it. i stopped when Mak screamed out of fear. this is where i woke up. at some point in the dream i had made a cake while my mom did. she complimented it. felt proud of myself for making it. another reason I was angry is because i was in an english class. we had to annotate notes of our peers and this person had told me i spelled "patronize" wrong even though i didn't, and thought all of my points were wrong and was horrible about it. this is why i smashed EJ's wall. another thing i felt was guilt because i ranted about online friend ghosting me days before she made me watch that movie with her. she also wanted me to come see another one. she said we'd meet up at 9-9 on Sunday. I interpreted this as 9:09. at some point in the movie, there was this principal with a fork for a head. he did something that accidentally upset the kids and they all hate him. but it's possible he was egotistical all along. he called himself sexy.

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