Understand My Dreams basa"d

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I had a fucking wack dream where i murdered the joker and tried to become the new joker and there was a police chase through a series of tunnels but then i escaped and started driving away but like 200 miles later or something, i was trying to get to the border, i crashed into an oil -- distillery? i dont know what they're called. And the owners were like you need to pay us a million dollars or give us your insurance shit and i was like oh no im a wanted criminal, there is literally-- im on the national news and the only reason they dont know me is because this is a hick town, and there was a fair in town and my partner in crime idk who they were just suggested something like "if you win it all from fair prizes you dont need to produce a license to get a job :)" and so we started trying to win money, first at an eating contest, but we passed an ad for a five mile run where the top time was 10 minutes for five miles and i was like "oh no they had a speedster who's holding back, or some kind of super soldier-- if they know who i am--" then i woke up

I dreamt of kombucha. I started getting curious as to how kombucha gets fizzy, and a guy that I had liked but nothing ever happened with, well I wanted to ask him. I haven't talked to him in ages,k and keep thinking about it, even if I know we left on good terms and that I'm just wondering something fundamentally stupid. But anyway, I started asking everyone about the kombucha, and they all thought I was dumb, so I worked up the nerve to text him, and he replied about some acidic thing that I eventually understood. I kept going in and out of rooms, and it felt like his lack of attraction to me physically hurt, like I was physically in pain from him not understanding that I just wanted him to kjiss me. I told him that, I asked him if he wanted it too, and I honestly can only remember that this was because my best friend did it. Actrually she texted him that he tried to kiss me and I wasn't sure he was into it, and so he shouldn['t try again (even though I wanted him to desperately), and so I texted him that and he replied, he was kind about it, but then I saw one of my best friends cheating on her boyfriend (although they had broken up) with him, and it was quite strange but yeah.

I was in a weird school that was not normal in many ways. Such as everyone within the school has their own super powers that were given to you at birth. And for some reason I didn’t have any power but was more like watching it all take place. The powers were rated by the head of the school and depending on how good you could use your power would determine if you would be of any help to the world or not. Kind of like your power would determine your social class for the rest of your life.

I dreamt that I discovered I had an adopted brother and sister my entire life, but my parents had never introduced them as that to us so I never realised. It happened really suddenly that I was at home in New Cross, in my room but as an adult, and I think I'd heard some news story about adoption and it had made me think- I wish I had adopted siblings. And all of a sudden it came over me that I did. I'd had an adopted brother this whole time and I had never realised / put 2 and 2 together. I collapsed in tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I ran to where my mum and sister Joanna were tidying away clothes and tried to help and ask questions but I could barely function. My adopted brother was there too - he was a tall, handsome Asian man, very gentle and kind. I asked my mum and dad questions - it turns out they adopted two children, a Polish girl (who was not as close, a difficult adoption it seemed) and this Asian boy, who we had always grown up with and never questioned why. I asked my dad why they never explained to us: "because your mother said you children might not accept / try to sabotage them if you saw them as competition, so decided it was better to not say anything at all." This was classic my parents' approach to parenting- not trusting the kids and keeping their own confidences. I ran away from the room and as I ran I kept collapsing in floods of tears. My whole sense of being and understanding of who I was felt shaken, but I was also overwhelmed with love and affection for this sibling I had never recognised as such. The whole time he was there, quietly and gently present, aware of the emotional roller coaster I was going through and I had hugged him many times in tears already, and apologised for not knowing sooner. I ran upstairs - collapsing in piles of tears alof the way - back to my bedroom where he was in the bed and threw myself into his arms in the darkness and in my tears. I woke up then, not 100% sure if the love I expressed in that moment was more than that for a brother. It was possibly the relief of finding a soul mate. I dreamt this after an argument with my brother who earlier that day said he could not help me / give me advice about my relationship with Ben. I was very hurt and cried a lot - similarly completely overwhelmed / isolated. I felt quite betrayed by him in that moment. He has always been my closest confidante.

I was in my old neighborhood the one I grew up in in the trailer court. My family disappeared suddenly all leaving me and driving off. I was stuck there and the house started sinking in the quick sand my family had left without me. My best friends boyfriend , Trevor, showed up on a bike and told me to get in the bike trailer and we peddled away. His bike broke down in the parking lot of this hotel not too far away from where my place was. Trevor tried to fix it but it was taking him a long time because he kept finding electronics on the ground and was dismantling them assuring me he knew what he was doing. my best friend April showed up in a taxi cab and told me to get in and yelled at Trevor for not having his bike properly fixed up to make the journey and she told him don't even come back until you got it fixed. We got home and Her mom was in the front yard staring at an apple tree with giant apples the size of a human being. she said that use to be my tree untill the flood moved the seeds and it started growing just outside my fence. Then I said imagine if one of those apples fell on your head as you walked by. Then I woke up

Thought i'd take my own advice for once. March18 2014. Laying here thinking. Feels like i got deported. Friends and family miss me dearly. Mom thinks im a drug addict. Telling other fam that im mixing drugs and all this non sense. I honestly don't know how my mental os remaining strong after all this shit that i been through. not a complaint. I know im still here by the Grace of God. Who am i though. People probably look at me and say. oh , there goes that corny SKINNY ass nigga daniel, Why is sharde even with him. Why did alex even date him. he's Nobody. Right. Im Nobody. I can accept this. why. because 1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. and i believe in standing by your opinion. so If Im Such A Nobody. how About hou prove im A Nobody. Matter of fact. how About you walk in my Shoes. parents Divorced when i was like 3. Sent away by my mom 3 times. made my mother think she failed as a parent with me. Constant pressure to Succeed in something you don't even have a passion for. Judged by your family because of the decisions you make. Thats Not even Half Of It. but You still see me crack a fucking smile so you can think everything is Ok. When in actuality . its Not. Its far from Ok.

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