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Dreams shut

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I am about to wake up i hear my alarm and reach to turn it off but i can’t move i can’t even open my eyes i realize i’m paralyzed and i try in vain to scream for help but i can’t make a sound my head feels foggy and unfocused like i’m of no substance my body feels like an iron prison and my consciousness is struggling against it trying to get the two to connect and move and free me it’s as if my brain is trapped by my body i can think properly and flutter my eyelids a bit but otherwise i cannot move it terrifies me and i scream a silent mental scream no one even knows i’m screaming but me when i finish screaming i try to calm down and relax thinking that maybe my paralysis will end when my struggling does i wait consciousness still for what feels like forever i try to move again to no avail i remember in a nightmare i had when i was younger i squeezed my eyes shut and was able to wake myself up i decide to try that again i focus on my eyes squeeze them shut and open nothing again again i can’t move i squeeze my eyes shut as hard as i can and open them this time i actually wake up

My dad that had recently died took me to a kentucky derby and he left me to get us some drinks from the concessions and had told me to stay after i tried to go with him. I cried as i watched him walk away. A long time after the races, and after everyone had left, i finally decided to go find him. I started walking around when i heard drips and people talking in a different language. I got closer and then footsteps running away. I turned the corner and saw my dad's body on the floor with no head. I dropped to my knees and held him. After a bit, i heard his voice but i thought it was in my head. But then i felt something hit my head and i looked up. I then saw my dad's head pinned to a board with a note that said you deserved it. He kept telling me he loved me and that he was proud of me and that he will always be with me. then he shut his eyes and was gone. I cried and then woke up crying

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