Understand My Dreams basa"d

Dreams i have

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'm 21 and have never had a sexual or romantic relationship however I dreamt that I had a husband who was what I'd consider my perfect man however I have never met this man before . Anway the dream begins whereby I've apparently just given birth to our son and am now running away with him. I happen to get help from my friends in terms of running away as they drive me away and make it a significant distance however in the back of my mind I am aware that theres nowhere I can run without my husband ever finding me, he is so powerful that he has almost everyone working for him or his supporter. I continue to flee from him with our newborn son however. Somehow in the dream it becomes late and we stop at the shaddest hotel on the assumption that it too low class for him to be there however upon entering the rooms its apparent that the outside of the hotel is a facade since the inside is beautiful . I take to sleeping on the floor with my son whilst I give my friends the bed since its a single room. Just before we go to bed they ask me to lock the bedroom door and as I attempt to do that I realise my husband is unknowingly in the adjacent room and undressing his shirt and I'm shockingly very attracted to his body ...I then frantically try to lock the door before he sees me only to realise that the door is too small and wont lock. I then inform my friends that he is in the adjacent room they then decide to reveal themselves and beg for his forgivness for helping me in my escape . I hide behind my hotel room door and hoping to not be seen by him however my friends give away my current position. He then comes into the room and looks me directly in the eye ,his eyes were shockingly turquoise and the iris was not that recognisable as it was sort of smugged (surprising since I like green eyes ) and I find myself being again attracted to him and a part of me recognises that I'm severly inlove with him however out of shame of having run away and refusing to beg for his forgiveness like my friends did (I am being defiant ) I tell him that I'd like a divorce . He takes our son gets into bed and I'm fully expecting him to argue with me and yet he pays me no mind he instead give attention to his son and tells me that divorces complicate things whilst looking at our son he then says that we can just split up and still be legally married . He says all this whist not even looking at me and for some reason even though I asked for the divorce I'm devastated that he'd let me go so easily without fighting for me .. I fell rejected by him whilst I stand at the foot of the bed contemplating whether I should also get on the bed or not I eventually get on and then the dream ends . I'm unsure as to what this dream means since I have no relationship or marriage prospects and yet this dream is disturbing me . Also the man portrayed as my husband is one I fancy myself having ,he is strong, masculine , financially powerful and handsome . Why them am I running away from him and yet feel hurt when he permits me to leave him.

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I'm in the town where I grew up, with my deceased sister and deceased uncle, who molested the both of us. we are in a building where I once worked in that small town. There is a large fire on the mountain, we are evacuating, I am carrying a large glass 1/2 full container of orange juice and take it to the car. My uncle is already in the car, that of which I currently drive now. My sister is still somewhere in the building. The fire is so close I can almost feel it, I'm yelling for my sister to hurry, we have to get our grandmother , who is also deceased, who I was never close with. I can see her running with a sleeping bag in her arms. suddenly the flames from the fire engulf her. The flames over take us. I wake up. My heart is beating fast, my body is in a sweat, there are tears streaming down my face. Even as I type this . I haven't been able to go back to sleep .

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