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Had a dream that Jill and I haven’t seen each other since our last fight (which would have been the end of August 2013) but we still somehow ended up at a hotel getting married. I remember riding a bus, tram or train from what I assume was the airport (not sure) with her family members and Jimmy Mumby from work. Most of the family seemed a bit redneck, but Jimmy brought out weed and all her family member went crazy trying to smoke it, and even some seemed to have a new method of turning into liquid, and drinking it through a straw. I remember how uncomfortable I felt and I wanted to get away but I was trapped. The driver came back and began handing out what looked like strings with some sort of stick or straw and telling the guys who were smoking that they were going to have to swallow them. I felt relieved thinking he was going to stop them from smoking, but then he yelled out “Just kidding” smoke ‘em if you got’em, or something like that, laughed and went back to driving. The driver was wearing the stereotypical blue pants, driver’s hat and he had a mustache. When I got to the hotel I didn’t know what was going on or how I ended up being in the situation of marrying someone that I haven’t spoken too for months. I remember seeing her in her wedding dress (the old one from when she was 18) and seeing some of her bride’s maids in inappropriate bride’s maid dresses. One bride’s maid had a white dress that was cut to show a lot of skin, bra and panties could be seen. I was suddenly rushed by my mom to change into my suite (cannot remember the exact color but I know it was dark). Something happened to my shirt, can’t really remember but I spilled or dropped something on it, because I remember trying to rub it off. Next thing I know I was shirtless standing in front where the altar would be and a crowd was gathering in the seats and people were pushing me to the front as a protested about being shirtless. I remember still being confused about what I was doing or how I got myself in that position. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to waste everyone’s time and money and feeling pressured to go through with it, and every time I attempted to discuss things with Jill, she wouldn’t acknowledge me, with the exception of telling me what she wanted and how she wanted it to go down. She seemed happy, or at least to everyone else, but we still didn’t talk. I remember feeling pressured about the vows because I wasn’t sure what to say to someone that hurt me so badly and haven’t spoken too in the last six months, but didn’t want to let everyone down. Everything seemed to be rushed as if “if it doesn’t happen right now it will never happen”. Her family seemed to be wearing country clothes including camo hats, had beards and yelled a lot.

My girlfriend left out of town, my ex girlfriend came over and we had a party. We were all up on each other n had sex also. She told me dat she loved me n wanted to be wit me forever dis time. I looked in her eyes n said I love u too, we were in the room while the party still going until my girlfriend comes in and open the door. My girl starts screamin, and crying. My ex said she want to be wit me not u anymore. They asked me to choose who I wanted to be wit n I didn't answer so my ex left out the door, got in the car n I told my girl dat I was sorry n ran to get my ex. My ex got out the car n said I knew u were gonna pick me let me go get my stuff from florida n I ll be back promise. She got in the car laughing n den everybody else were laughing something dawned on me dat she played me n she wasn't coming back. She always did dat, when I have someone so I ran in the house my girl was packin her stuff. I told her that I chose her n dat I was in love wit her. She look at me n said I love u too but I need time to think. She let her stuff go n dropped down crying n I told her it was over between me n my ex. I see that I was fooled once again because I looked at my food stamp card n it was a phone by it. My ex left her phone n her girl text sayin do wat u have to do to get us some money n food from her. My ex texted back n said yea ok I love you. Then I woke up hurt...

Some how my mom broke out of jail, to move to Arkansas with me, frank, and a white couple. Something went wrong with going, my mom decided to have a shoot out with the police in turn being shot in her chest and killing the officers, as my mother lay dying I tell Terri to shoot me in my upper back near my heart however the bullet went in to the left and came out on the right just under my tit. Terri and I were in 7-11 some how. We managed to make it to an apartment back to my mom that was not dead at all, I asked her how she was feeling, she replied "I'm at a place when I am okay with whatever happens" I say even dying? She laid her head on the floor and closed her eyes and continued to breathe, I called the police to get us help but nothing came and we were down the street from the police station :( I woke up with the same burn I felt in my chest with being shot. As I'm laying here wondering what it all means I feel sad inside, because I think this is telling me that I feel guilty about something concerning her. Then again I can feel happy in knowing that regardless of how long help took, we keep living through the pain.

I was in school. College perhaps, because I recall being able to call the teacher "professor." I think, even, that the teacher in question was one of my teachers from college. Liz, we called her. Her first name was Elizabeth. I can't even remember what her formal 'teacher name' would be. She was always just Liz. My class and I had a project to do. A last-minute, end of the year project that was thrown together due to poor planning on the professor's part. I had to go to a particularly large classroom - literally quite grandiose, with stacks of bookshelves for some reason lining the walls - and I had to put on a performance for a class of younger students. We were tasked with performing Star Wars - just the first movie, Darth Vader and all that noise. But we had no costumes. Nor did we have any preparation. We had to do it right then. The only costumes we could find were (and this may be dangerous to say around these parts)... animal costumes. Fur suits. All I can remember was being mad. That wasn't what I signed up for. I was failed by the educational system. Failed by my professor. I remember yelling about it, making a scene, in front of the audience, about how much of an utter disgrace the whole thing was.

I dream that me my fathers side of the family were together somewhere with my grandmother who is already dead because she is having surgery, I went to go tell my grandmother that I loved her and to give her a envelope of money she said to me that she didn't think that I cared because when she saw my face it look as if I didn't want to be there she told me that I was a extraordinary person and that is was sad that I would never know how special I was, then at the same time my husband died in the navy, which is his current job I leave the place we were at in my cousin friend car who I had a fight with in the same dream went and got a BMW then my husband comes back but I am the only person who can see and talk with him he asked about my grandmother and I told him she died and that I knew she was going to die he asked if I gave her the envelope and I said no because I knew she was going to die then my father came into the room where I was talking to my husband with a bra on.

Had a dream that Jill and I haven’t seen each other since our last fight (which would have been the end of August 2013) but we still somehow ended up at a hotel getting married. I remember riding a bus, tram or train from what I assume was the airport (not sure) with her family members and Jimmy Mumby from work. Most of the family seemed a bit redneck, but Jimmy brought out weed and all her family member went crazy trying to smoke it, and even some seemed to have a new method of turning into liquid, and drinking it through a straw. I remember how uncomfortable I felt and I wanted to get away but I was trapped. The driver came back and began handing out what looked like strings with some sort of stick or straw and telling the guys who were smoking that they were going to have to swallow them. I felt relieved thinking he was going to stop them from smoking, but then he yelled out “Just kidding” smoke them if you got them, or something like that, laughed and went back to driving. The driver was wearing the stereotypical blue pants, driver’s hat and he had a mustache. When I got to the hotel I didn’t know what was going on or how I ended up being in the situation of marrying someone that I haven’t spoken too for months. I remember seeing her in her wedding dress (the old one from when she was 18) and seeing some of her bride’s maids in inappropriate bride’s maid dresses. One bride’s maid had a white dress that was cut to show a lot of skin, bra and panties could be seen. I was suddenly rushed by my mom to change into my suite (cannot remember the exact color but I know it was dark). Something happened to my shirt, can’t really remember but I spilled or dropped something on it, because I remember trying to rub it off. Next thing I know I was shirtless standing in front where the altar would be and a crowd was gathering in the seats and people were pushing me to the front as a protested about being shirtless. I remember still being confused about what I was doing or how I got myself in that position. I remember feeling anxiety about the hair that might be seen on my back. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to waste everyone’s time and money and feeling pressured to go through with it, and every time I attempted to discuss things with Jill, she wouldn’t acknowledge me, with the exception of telling me what she wanted and how she wanted it to go down. She seemed happy, or at least to everyone else, but we still didn’t talk. I remember feeling pressured about the vows because I wasn’t sure what to say to someone that hurt me so badly and haven’t spoken too in the last six months, but didn’t want to let everyone down. Everything seemed to be rushed as if “if it doesn’t happen right now it will never happen”. Her family seemed to be wearing country clothes including camouflage hats, had beards and yelled or talked super loud.

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