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I dreamt that I discovered I had

I dreamt that I discovered I had an adopted brother and sister my entire life, but my parents had never introduced them as that to us so I never realised. It happened really suddenly that I was at home in New Cross, in my room but as an adult, and I think I'd heard some news story about adoption and it had made me think- I wish I had adopted siblings. And all of a sudden it came over me that I did. I'd had an adopted brother this whole time and I had never realised / put 2 and 2 together. I collapsed in tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I ran to where my mum and sister Joanna were tidying away clothes and tried to help and ask questions but I could barely function. My adopted brother was there too - he was a tall, handsome Asian man, very gentle and kind. I asked my mum and dad questions - it turns out they adopted two children, a Polish girl (who was not as close, a difficult adoption it seemed) and this Asian boy, who we had always grown up with and never questioned why. I asked my dad why they never explained to us: "because your mother said you children might not accept / try to sabotage them if you saw them as competition, so decided it was better to not say anything at all." This was classic my parents' approach to parenting- not trusting the kids and keeping their own confidences. I ran away from the room and as I ran I kept collapsing in floods of tears. My whole sense of being and understanding of who I was felt shaken, but I was also overwhelmed with love and affection for this sibling I had never recognised as such. The whole time he was there, quietly and gently present, aware of the emotional roller coaster I was going through and I had hugged him many times in tears already, and apologised for not knowing sooner. I ran upstairs - collapsing in piles of tears alof the way - back to my bedroom where he was in the bed and threw myself into his arms in the darkness and in my tears. I woke up then, not 100% sure if the love I expressed in that moment was more than that for a brother. It was possibly the relief of finding a soul mate. I dreamt this after an argument with my brother who earlier that day said he could not help me / give me advice about my relationship with Ben. I was very hurt and cried a lot - similarly completely overwhelmed / isolated. I felt quite betrayed by him in that moment. He has always been my closest confidante.

In my dream my brother and I

In my dream my brother and I were on our way to a professional wrestling match when we were pulled over by the cops. The police asked for our IDs and asked where we were going tonight and when we said professional wrestling match this is what he told us: ""Professional Wrestling" is considered one of the most successful efforts of the Extreme Perversity Normalization Initiative's "Closet Project". Professional Wrestling was designed by Illuminati meme artists and psychologists to accomplish three primary aims: 1) To serve as a simple means of screening the public for propensity to extreme gullibility - a trait highly desired by the Illuminati and one cultivated through eugenics programs. 2) To encourage public acceptance of suspension of disbelief and critical thinking as vast numbers of people invested emotional attachment in contests they knew rationally were predetermined and staged. 3) To promote a culture of hypermasculine homoeroticism of a type designed to appeal primarily to aggressive young males in denial about their own homosexual impulses. All EPNI "wrestling" features an emphasis on exaggerated masculinity, fetishistic focus on the male physique, extensive use of sweat/body oils, and promotions of polyamorous homosexual BDSM rituals involving "tag teams" and "submission"

Thought i'd take my own advice for

Thought i'd take my own advice for once. March18 2014. Laying here thinking. Feels like i got deported. Friends and family miss me dearly. Mom thinks im a drug addict. Telling other fam that im mixing drugs and all this non sense. I honestly don't know how my mental os remaining strong after all this shit that i been through. not a complaint. I know im still here by the Grace of God. Who am i though. People probably look at me and say. oh , there goes that corny SKINNY ass nigga daniel, Why is sharde even with him. Why did alex even date him. he's Nobody. Right. Im Nobody. I can accept this. why. because 1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. and i believe in standing by your opinion. so If Im Such A Nobody. how About hou prove im A Nobody. Matter of fact. how About you walk in my Shoes. parents Divorced when i was like 3. Sent away by my mom 3 times. made my mother think she failed as a parent with me. Constant pressure to Succeed in something you don't even have a passion for. Judged by your family because of the decisions you make. Thats Not even Half Of It. but You still see me crack a fucking smile so you can think everything is Ok. When in actuality . its Not. Its far from Ok.