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i am in a cellar without the

i am in a cellar without the door in the company of a old women who looks like a witch and who is pleading with me to stay with her. i want to go but cannot see any exit. she keeps making me cups of tea, knowing full well i want to go, but trying her hardest to keep me with her. she accepts that i intend to go and as a last resort offers me an apple and asks me to kiss her. i smell danger, but think there can't be any harm in it, as i bend to bite the apple, i am whisked out of the door that has suddenly appeared, into a ray of white light.

I am a frequent 'epic dreamer'; and

I am a frequent 'epic dreamer'; and have more recently experienced 'lucid dreams' where I can change, or manipulate, my dream to my own liking. These dreams are sweeping and beautiful, massive in scale, and can feature mountain ranges, valleys, vast moorlands, oceans, islands, lonely beaches or beautiful villages in the snow. They seem to go on for hours, uninterrupted, and I can recall every single detail for years afterwards. They all, without exception, feature an enormous house (different every time) and nearly all feature sex with an unknown man, who is always different and doesn't look like anyone I know. The house is always huge, isolated, gothic, empty, mostly derelict, with hundreds of rooms and the dream predominantly features me, either alone or with this man, discovering rooms. I am always excited, sometimes sexually exicted in these houses; somewhere in the dream is the knowledge that the house belongs to me and I'm discovering it for the first, most exciting, time, and deciding what I can do with it. I explore attics, cellars, staircases and bedrooms, but I always seems to linger for a long time by windows, gazing longingly out the the incredible view, or by enormous fireplaces, looking into the flames. Sometimes the house is truly derelict and haunted but I'm not scared, just in awe of its beauty and amount of rooms. There is always a very lucid feeling of real excitement in the dream and this usually turns to sexual excitement as the man in the dream makes his move on me. It can be incredibly intense and romantic, and the feeling stays with me for days or weeks. Sometimes years! Less frequently (once a month maybe) I feel such intense grief in a dream I wake up with my pillow wet and I'm depressed for days. Yet I never know why I was grieving. The only feeling that remains with me is that I've lost something and can never find it ever again. Sometimes in my dream I decide it's not romantic or gorgeous enough, and I can go back and change the crucial scene to my liking. I am even discussing this in my dream with myself, saying 'hang on - I could have been more heroic or powerful in that scene. Let's go back and do it again'. So I do, but improve on the outcome. All my dreams are so beautiful, and so epic in scale and emotion, that they exhaust me and real life seems very dull and ugly and unromantic in comparison.