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I dreamt that I discovered I had

I dreamt that I discovered I had an adopted brother and sister my entire life, but my parents had never introduced them as that to us so I never realised. It happened really suddenly that I was at home in New Cross, in my room but as an adult, and I think I'd heard some news story about adoption and it had made me think- I wish I had adopted siblings. And all of a sudden it came over me that I did. I'd had an adopted brother this whole time and I had never realised / put 2 and 2 together. I collapsed in tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I ran to where my mum and sister Joanna were tidying away clothes and tried to help and ask questions but I could barely function. My adopted brother was there too - he was a tall, handsome Asian man, very gentle and kind. I asked my mum and dad questions - it turns out they adopted two children, a Polish girl (who was not as close, a difficult adoption it seemed) and this Asian boy, who we had always grown up with and never questioned why. I asked my dad why they never explained to us: "because your mother said you children might not accept / try to sabotage them if you saw them as competition, so decided it was better to not say anything at all." This was classic my parents' approach to parenting- not trusting the kids and keeping their own confidences. I ran away from the room and as I ran I kept collapsing in floods of tears. My whole sense of being and understanding of who I was felt shaken, but I was also overwhelmed with love and affection for this sibling I had never recognised as such. The whole time he was there, quietly and gently present, aware of the emotional roller coaster I was going through and I had hugged him many times in tears already, and apologised for not knowing sooner. I ran upstairs - collapsing in piles of tears alof the way - back to my bedroom where he was in the bed and threw myself into his arms in the darkness and in my tears. I woke up then, not 100% sure if the love I expressed in that moment was more than that for a brother. It was possibly the relief of finding a soul mate. I dreamt this after an argument with my brother who earlier that day said he could not help me / give me advice about my relationship with Ben. I was very hurt and cried a lot - similarly completely overwhelmed / isolated. I felt quite betrayed by him in that moment. He has always been my closest confidante.

Thought i'd take my own advice for

Thought i'd take my own advice for once. March18 2014. Laying here thinking. Feels like i got deported. Friends and family miss me dearly. Mom thinks im a drug addict. Telling other fam that im mixing drugs and all this non sense. I honestly don't know how my mental os remaining strong after all this shit that i been through. not a complaint. I know im still here by the Grace of God. Who am i though. People probably look at me and say. oh , there goes that corny SKINNY ass nigga daniel, Why is sharde even with him. Why did alex even date him. he's Nobody. Right. Im Nobody. I can accept this. why. because 1. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. and i believe in standing by your opinion. so If Im Such A Nobody. how About hou prove im A Nobody. Matter of fact. how About you walk in my Shoes. parents Divorced when i was like 3. Sent away by my mom 3 times. made my mother think she failed as a parent with me. Constant pressure to Succeed in something you don't even have a passion for. Judged by your family because of the decisions you make. Thats Not even Half Of It. but You still see me crack a fucking smile so you can think everything is Ok. When in actuality . its Not. Its far from Ok.

A chinese woman sat in front of

A chinese woman sat in front of me. she was a stranger, but we started chatting. i enjoyed her company and found her easy to talk to. she began giving me a facial and gave me advice on something that i must do right away. it was very urgent. it could not wait. she said it would change my life. i felt some sort of emotional barrier around me began to fall. she began putting honey on my face and urged me to do this one thing, which i cannot remember. i began rubbing granular honey on my hands, entwining them with hers as she rubbed with just the right pressure. the energy level increased. i understood what she was trying to say. i needed to get up now and do this one thing right away, no matter the cost. i woke up.

I was going on a journey; to

I was going on a journey; to where I don’t know, and found myself at the airport. Just before I presented myself to the check-in desk I felt an annoying lump on the bridge my nose; slightly to the left hand side... like a plook. So I trudged off to the nearest mirror for a look, and discovered the shocking truth. This was no pimple, zit, spot or suppuration of pus that had grown like a mountain to the surface of my skin. Nor was this a teenage bout of acne waiting to be compressed between my pinched thumb and forefinger, exuding a lava that resembled the contents of a squeezy bottle of mustard. But what was it? I had to look closer..... A miniature flower had taken root and bloomed through the surface of my earthly pore. Like a daisy gently bristling in a grassy meddow, the pollen scented aroma of summer surrounded by silken petals bloomed in colour and vibrancy. I began to pick off the petals one by one only to find hidden under each an angry wasp buzzing with rage and torment, including the Queen who sat under the petal at the top of the flower pointing north at 12 o’clock. For fear of being stung I couldn’t touch anymore and had to leave any future ‘weeding’ until after my flight. As my flight landed I found myself in Windsor and a new job. I was working for another Queen, this time Elisabeth I of Scotland and II of England. My job was to help with the smooth running of the upcoming Royal Wedding of Harry and Meghan. The job didn’t last and I soon found myself unemployed. Handing back in my Royal page-boy type uniform, consisting of plus fours, white tights, buckled shoes and a thrilly laced shirt, I returned to Mexico. Dejected, starving and struggling for cash I decided, upon advice from a friend, to become self-employed and was soon earning a pittance gift wrapping souvenirs purchased by tourists for their loved ones at home. It wasn’t enough though and my meagre earnings barely stretched to buying a plate of taco soup, rice and beans. But In a weird twist of fate my dream morphed into a strange success story – like the American dream I tweaked my business and moved it lock, stock and two smoking barrels to a gay nightclub. I was now offering a naked gift wrapping service and was rolling in the money.