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I have recurring dreams where an ex lover appears. The dreams themselves are different from one another. I'm usually focused on something else in the dreams - tasks, people, work, music - when he appears. In each dream, I purposely try to avoid or ignore him, but he always makes a point of interacting. One dream recently was to say something negative, and in one last night he gave me a gift. Our relationship in waking life did not end well. I was very angry with him in the end, and with myself at the time because the relationship was not healthy nor good, and I had felt stupid and ashamed about how much I'd shared with him emotionally and physically. The last time I spoke to him was over two and a half years ago, and I don't think about him consciously anymore (though I did for quite some time after the initial parting because I was so upset and working out my feelings). Why is he showing up in my dreams now? I know it is not because I have any positive feelings for him, nor do I want to see him again. Am I still working out what happened? Maybe I am still reconciling my feelings about how I acted and my life and my actions? Is it something in my life now? I don't think anything is more different now than any time over the last few years, but perhaps this is a sign of feelings and actions I am not conscious of?

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We heard a strange sound. Then we realized it was a bat. Lighys were all turned off, then I turn it on. I saw the switch of the light. Then first, I saw the shadow of the bat, then the bat itself. It was flying. We moved to the other room. We were in our old house and I was holding a baseball bat so I can hit the bat with baseball bat. We were scared but we conquered the feeling. My uncle showed off his tongue like a maniac when he was riding a car. I imagine a rape scene in my dream. I told my self in my dream that if he will try or attempt to rape me, I can shoot him with a gun. I saw the bed. I saw the gun. Someone asked for my salary. I think it was my ex-colleague, Teacher Kat. Then I was talking with the kids. I asked them something. I saw my cousin. We were sitting on the chair, while the kids are eating on the table.

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