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I dreamt that I discovered I had

I dreamt that I discovered I had an adopted brother and sister my entire life, but my parents had never introduced them as that to us so I never realised. It happened really suddenly that I was at home in New Cross, in my room but as an adult, and I think I'd heard some news story about adoption and it had made me think- I wish I had adopted siblings. And all of a sudden it came over me that I did. I'd had an adopted brother this whole time and I had never realised / put 2 and 2 together. I collapsed in tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I ran to where my mum and sister Joanna were tidying away clothes and tried to help and ask questions but I could barely function. My adopted brother was there too - he was a tall, handsome Asian man, very gentle and kind. I asked my mum and dad questions - it turns out they adopted two children, a Polish girl (who was not as close, a difficult adoption it seemed) and this Asian boy, who we had always grown up with and never questioned why. I asked my dad why they never explained to us: "because your mother said you children might not accept / try to sabotage them if you saw them as competition, so decided it was better to not say anything at all." This was classic my parents' approach to parenting- not trusting the kids and keeping their own confidences. I ran away from the room and as I ran I kept collapsing in floods of tears. My whole sense of being and understanding of who I was felt shaken, but I was also overwhelmed with love and affection for this sibling I had never recognised as such. The whole time he was there, quietly and gently present, aware of the emotional roller coaster I was going through and I had hugged him many times in tears already, and apologised for not knowing sooner. I ran upstairs - collapsing in piles of tears alof the way - back to my bedroom where he was in the bed and threw myself into his arms in the darkness and in my tears. I woke up then, not 100% sure if the love I expressed in that moment was more than that for a brother. It was possibly the relief of finding a soul mate. I dreamt this after an argument with my brother who earlier that day said he could not help me / give me advice about my relationship with Ben. I was very hurt and cried a lot - similarly completely overwhelmed / isolated. I felt quite betrayed by him in that moment. He has always been my closest confidante.

Dog jumping through bedroom window.I dreamt of

Dog jumping through bedroom window.I dreamt of a huge Alsation dog black on the top of the body and brown on stomach and legs area peering through my bedroom window at night while me and my daughter was sleeping on the bed. The window was open it sniffed and I saw it. I threw a box at it to prevent it from coming in It did not make a noise and jumped straight on my bed. I woke my daughter up and ran out the room holding the door closed. That's when I woke up

It was night time and there were

It was night time and there were people gathered very rowdy and intoxicated huge Loud loud evil heavy music I've not heard before was blaring all around me along with people yelling and talking laughing and screaming at eachother and meanly hurling insults. Huge fires in fire pits and it was like some sort of wild bonfire party. But these people were not nice they were rowdy fighting screaming and all sorts of bad things were happening. They gathered around me in a big circle myself with arms tied behind my back and I was disheveled and bleeding from my nose and beat up but not crying. I remember two woman sitting on giant pair of Buffalo Horn mounted on a tall doorway we were in a hastily built structure big enough for a crowd to form the circle around me. The woman were jeering at me calling me names and then people began pushing me some spit on me tearing at my clothes. I was beligerant and caught the eye of the women they were dressed like cowgirls I remember. I remember I said how could you do this I am a woman just like you. They laughed and mocked me. I was raped by men beaten and I didn't cry or stop fighting even when they had me down and the men took turns I didn't cry. Then I was alone everything was gone I just remember miles and miles of dirt and dust blowing all around my body but I wasn't in my body anymore I was looking down at it from above. The silence was awe striking.I think I must have been dead.