I dreamt that I discovered I had
I dreamt that I discovered I had an adopted brother and sister my entire life, but my parents had never introduced them as that to us so I never realised. It happened really suddenly that I was at home in New Cross, in my room but as an adult, and I think I'd heard some news story about adoption and it had made me think- I wish I had adopted siblings. And all of a sudden it came over me that I did. I'd had an adopted brother this whole time and I had never realised / put 2 and 2 together. I collapsed in tears of joy and sadness at the same time. I ran to where my mum and sister Joanna were tidying away clothes and tried to help and ask questions but I could barely function. My adopted brother was there too - he was a tall, handsome Asian man, very gentle and kind. I asked my mum and dad questions - it turns out they adopted two children, a Polish girl (who was not as close, a difficult adoption it seemed) and this Asian boy, who we had always grown up with and never questioned why. I asked my dad why they never explained to us: "because your mother said you children might not accept / try to sabotage them if you saw them as competition, so decided it was better to not say anything at all." This was classic my parents' approach to parenting- not trusting the kids and keeping their own confidences. I ran away from the room and as I ran I kept collapsing in floods of tears. My whole sense of being and understanding of who I was felt shaken, but I was also overwhelmed with love and affection for this sibling I had never recognised as such. The whole time he was there, quietly and gently present, aware of the emotional roller coaster I was going through and I had hugged him many times in tears already, and apologised for not knowing sooner. I ran upstairs - collapsing in piles of tears alof the way - back to my bedroom where he was in the bed and threw myself into his arms in the darkness and in my tears. I woke up then, not 100% sure if the love I expressed in that moment was more than that for a brother. It was possibly the relief of finding a soul mate. I dreamt this after an argument with my brother who earlier that day said he could not help me / give me advice about my relationship with Ben. I was very hurt and cried a lot - similarly completely overwhelmed / isolated. I felt quite betrayed by him in that moment. He has always been my closest confidante.