Dream of screaming

I was captured by some rebel force from the far east, and imprisoned in a pen-like area, that had wooden roughly carved spokes of wood everywhere Just a big deserted barren area that I could not get out of and I knew that 'they' were coming to do unspeakable things to me so I decided the only option was to kill myself so I walked up to one of the wooden spokes that were sticking into the pen, and slid myself onto it and kept walking so it went right through me and I was screaming in agony in my dream although feeling no pain and then when I got to as far as I could walk, I turned my head and it was like I was watching myself from above, my face was completely calm and serene and I opened my mouth and poured out 'my life' which came out as this beautiful clear stream of energy