Dream of

When i am ill i have a reoccuring dream. In it there is a rod in an open desert. It streaches out as far as the eye can see. I am not in the dream only seeing it before me. The rod bends suddenly much as a heart rate monitor would do and does that many time. eventually it is twisting out of control changing colors and my whole view is nothing but a tangled jumpled mass of vivid wild colors and a feeling of deep loss and sadness.